Wayfarer on the Creative Path

A Different Daddy Daughter Weekend

Since the girls were young, I've relished our daddy-daughter dates. As little girls, the dates were to McDonalds or a movie. As they grew, the daddy-daughter paradigm became weekends to Chicago or Minneapolis. Daddy-daughter time continues to change with time. A few months ago, Taylor and I took off for the weekend in what would be our last getaway before she got married. This weekend, Madison and I are in the Twin Cities looking at colleges. Next week she turns 18. Another reminder that the days of McDonalds PlayPlace, Polly Pocket and the Disney Store lie far behind us.

One of the things I promised myself when the girls were babies was that I would enjoy every stage of life, growth and parenthood for what it was. I remind myself of that promise all the time. You can't stop the train. Enjoy the ride.

And so, I've really enjoyed my time with Madison this weekend. We've visited three very different colleges. From massive state university to small technical community college and private liberal arts college. I've enjoyed watching Madison envision herself in each as she thinks through the possibilities and challenges. She fell in love with the University of St. Thomas. It's quickly risen to the top of her list. An added bonus was free tickets to the St. Thomas vs. Northwestern football game. My high school buddy, Matt, is Athletic Director at Northwestern and we got a chance to meet up with him and catch up.

Interestingly enough, our fun time this weekend has been a reminder of daddy-daughter dates of years past. We went to Minneapolis Children's Theater production of "Cinderella." The production was funny, energetic and entertaining. Just as entertaining was the army of little girls dressed in their Cinderella costumes dancing in their seats. Ahhhhh, what memories that brought back to mind of Madison in her Snow White costume playing "Maddyella."

Last night, we went to Where the Wild Things Are, the movie based on the popular children's book. Again, memories came flooding back of Madison's favorite childhood books and stories while we had a very adult conversation about the themes and metaphors of the movie. How times have changed.

Today, Madison will give ol' dad his due - letting me take her to the Vikings game before heading home. It's been a great weekend. While the content of Daddy-daughter dates have certainly changed over the years, there is one constant: they are each priceless to a daddy's heart.

Madison's Royal Presentation

Last night was the Tulip Queen's announcement party. Madison was one of twelve finalists and the whole family gathered to support her as she made her presentation. She had diligently prepared her three minute talk, in which she was to display her talent and tell about herself. Madison chose photography as her talent. She had three of her photographs blown up to poster size, and explained how each of the photos she'd taken represented an important part of her life: family, music and missions. One of the photos was one she took of Wendy and me at Thanksgiving last year. She was then asked a total of four interview questions which she capably answered.

Madison did a great job, and we couldn't be more proud of her. She carried herself with incredible confidence and poise. Her presentation was outstanding. In the end, she didn't make the final cut to be on this year's Tulip court. Nevertheless, she felt great about the opportunity and had no reason to be disappointed. It was great experience for her.

She may not have been selected Tulip Queen. But, no worries. She's still my princess ;-)

Visit from a Little Pumpkin

It was a fairly quiet Halloween weekend for Wendy and me. We drove to Wendy's folks' house on Saturday to pick-up some supplies from the food co-op there. We listened to the Hawkeyes' amazing comeback on the radio as we drove.

Saturday night was beggar's night. We received a visit from the VL boys, which was hilarious. Wendy had fun holding the little pumpkin.

Sunday night was our monthly Sunday night dinner with the VLs and Parkers. The Parkers will be moving to Des Moines in the coming weeks. We're happy for them, but it's hard watching them move away - even if it's just to Des Moines.

A Fistful of Hollers

This past Saturday we celebrated the birthday of our friend, Chad. Chad's wife sent Chad and me to Signature Male, the man spa, for an afternoon of pampering. What a wonderful way to spend the afternoon. There's nothing quite like watching Iowa State beat Nebraska while getting a foot massage.

That night, the VWs, VLs and DCs all headed to Tassel Ridge winery for a murder mystery dinner. The six of us got on our western attire and rode the trail down to the winery. It was a lot of fun. Each of us received a character name (I was Wyatt Burp, Wendy was Sara Bellum), and during the dinner there were two actors who worked the crowd through various gags while setting up different characters and a sketchy story line.

By the time dessert was over, the actors had narrowed the list of suspects down to four or five and we had to guess who it was. The murderer was Shay (a.k.a. Sloopy Sales).

"I Can See Clearly Now...."

We have new windows in the front of the house! The single-pane windows (that I think were original from construction of our house in 1930) have finally been replaced with triple-pane windows (Pella windows, of course!). In true Murphy's Law fashion, our installer was finally free to work on them the Monday after Taylor's wedding. So, we spent all of last week with our house torn up. Nevertheless, they are installed. It's amazing how much quieter the house is. Now, we just have to paint the frames on the inside (the fun never ends).

Another Royal Daughter?

The spotlight has been focused on Taylor these past weeks and months as we celebrated her marriage to Clayton. Madison, however, has been true to her nature and has not been idle. In her senior year, Madison has focused her time on the two activities she loves the most: music and photography. She's taking piano lessons, singing in the school choir, and singing on worship teams at church. She's also a photographer for the school yearbook and newspaper.

On Tuesday night, Wendy and I attended the school choir's fall concert. The music was gorgeous. The choir always sounds beautiful. Madison had a small solo in the midst of one of the songs. I love to watch her sing. She is always so expressive.

As many of you may know, Madison's sister was Homecoming Queen back in her senior year of high school. Well, Madison may get to add herself to the list of "royals" in the family. Madison was nominated and voted one of the 12 finalists to be this year's "Tulip Queen!"

Father of the Bride...The Big Event

It is with some fear and trepidation that I sit down to write this post. It's hard to encapsulate such a momentous day in a such a brief blog post. The bottom line is that Taylor and Clayton are married and the wedding and reception went off with no major complications.

Some of the high points from this father of the bride:

• I was so glad that Taylor and I were both up early before the rest of the house. We got to enjoy coffee and breakfast together at the dining room table. It was one of those quiet memories I know I'll treasure.
• I had no idea how much time, effort and energy would be expended running errands, attending to last minute details, and taking care of small fires. At one point I was sent home from the church for clothing tape and a bra. I was waiting for a call to add tampon to the list and the feminine trifecta would have been complete (the joys of being the only man in the house).
• Taylor looked absolutely beautiful in her dress.
• Clayton and his groomsmen, in their uniform grey suits, looked like a scene out of Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs.
• The tears started as Taylor and I stood in the long line of parents, grandparents, and bridesmaids. Wiping our tears through our joyous laughter and having Madison help "dab" Taylor's tears is another moment I'll always treasure.
• Walking Taylor down the aisle was a surreal mixture of joy and grief. I held it together (pretty much) and was proud to hand her to Clayton and give them my blessing.
• Everyone in the congregation received a candle on their way into the sanctuary. The kids wanted to acknowledge the light and love that each person in attendance had played in their lives. So the lighting of the unity candle started at the back of the Sanctuary. As God Moves Through You (youtube video of the song embedded below) was sung, the candle light made its way towards the front (the stage left side of the sanctuary was a little poky...c'est la vie). The mothers carried the light to Taylor and Clayton who then lit the unity candle. The sanctuary was bathed in the candlelight of almost 300 people as wedding party gathered around the couple to pray for the bride and groom.

• It warmed a father's heart to watch Taylor and Clayton's friends bathing them in prayer, and to watch both Taylor and Clayton break down in tears. After successfully handing Taylor off, I thought I was done having to hold it together. Then Pastor Kevin handed Clayton's dad and me microphones and asked us to pray. Had a hard time making it through that one.
  
• Mission Accomplished, Taylor and Clayton made a quick exit to the reception hall while the congregation watched their slide show. Most people didn't see them get into "Tabitha," the 1991 Dodge Ram pick-up which Wendy and I bought for the girls to use before Taylor got her driver's license. Taylor balked at the idea of driving a beat-up old pickup to school. Almost four years later, I laughed to watch her drive away from her wedding in it.
  
• I thought that it was only the bride and groom who are so busy talking to guests that they don't have time to themselves. Wendy and I discovered that there was not enough time to talk to all of our guests as we wished. We barely got a bite to eat.
  
• Clayton's favorite is "fun-fetti" cupcakes. So, en lieu of a wedding cake, there were fun-fetti cupcakes for all.
  
• We rented an old-fashioned photo booth for people to take their pictures at the reception. It was a big hit and there was a line at the photo booth all night. Taylor and Clayton will get a CD with all of the photos taken that night. I can't wait to see them all!
  
• I have never seen Taylor "glow" like I did last night. Our father-daughter dance (to Frank Sinatra singing "Just the Way You Look Tonight") is another memory I'll always cherish. I've never seen her more full of joy. It radiated off of her.
  
• We sent the new Mr. & Mrs. off to their bridal suite at the hotel and cleaned up the reception all. Wendy and I were absolutely beat when we finally unloaded at home last night.

Mission accomplished.

 

 

Welcome to Marriage, Dude

Yesterday was my daughter, Taylor's, wedding day. The errands and busyness of the day's preparations were already in full swing when, late in the morning, my cell phone rang. It was my daughter, Madison, calling.

"Dad? Do you have a nose-hair trimmer?"

Granted, it was a rather odd question. It was also Madison. I've learned over time just to roll with these kinds of phone calls from her.

"Yes, I have a 'personal grooming tool,'" I answered, preferring the proper nomenclature for an implement that trims unsightly hair from inside certain dark cavities of your body. I continued to wonder where this was going.

"Okay. Clayton will be over in a minute," she said, referring to the groom.

The line went dead. My curious wife asked me what the call was about.

"Clayton's coming over to borrow my personal trimmer," I responded.

We stared at each other.

"That's kinda gross," she said slowly, "but, whatever. I don't want to know."

I went to the bathroom, got out the little electronic trimmer and returned just in time to hear the back door open. My future son-in-law walked in with what I would describe as a controlled scowl on his face. He looked at me. I handed him the tool. He stared at it.

"I'm going to use your bathroom" he said quietly as he walked past us towards the hallway.

"This wasn't my idea. I'm doing this for Taylor," he said as he rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight.

And so, it begins.

Welcome to marriage, dude.

Father of the Bride...The Rehearsal

The wedding festivities got off to a great start. Taylor and her friends had the bachelorette party on Thursday night, so I wasn't sure when I got up early yesterday if they were even home yet (they were). The crew was, however, fairly slow getting up and Wendy had a kitchen full of goodies for them to feast on for breakfast. She was surprised and pleased to receive a beautiful arrangement of flowers from her "Dutch" family! The morning was pretty laid back and it was fun to talk to Taylor's friends from YWAM and hear about their trips around the world and where their journeys have taken them since last Spring.

Wendy and I spent much of the day in preparations. One of my tasks was to put finishing touches on the requisite autobiographical slide show of the kids' baby and childhood pictures (a task given me by Taylor). Taylor and I have been working on that together all week, and I got to unveil the finished product to Taylor and her friends. Speaking of veils, Wendy ironed Grandma Jeanne's veil, which Taylor will wear today. I was surprised how quickly the day flew by and we suddenly found ourselves needing to be at the church for the rehearsal. The last few minutes before we left for the church were full-out stress and panic mode remembering everything we needed for the rehearsal and dinner. Wendy made cheesecakes for the rehearsal dinner so we had to grab those. Taylor called just before we left to ask me to bring her birth control pill (Oh my goodness, Taylor, you CAN'T forget to take your birth control pill!). We arrived at the church one minute before 4 o'clock and got out of the car.

"Holy mother of God, I forgot to pick up the programs from the printer!!" Wendy exclaimed as we walked to the church. So, back to the car we went to head to the printer. The programs were ready, but we realized that in our rush to get out the door neither of us remembered our money or wallets. Fortunately, the printer knows us well and, as he said, "knows where to find us." Crisis narrowly averted, we headed back to the church.

Despite the rush to get to the church I drove slowly, watching the speed limit, because I'd forgotten my license along with my wallet). That's about the time my hearing-aid battery went out. Oh well, hopefully I don't need to hear any detailed instructions.

We arrived at the church and walked in to greet family and friends. We sat down, and that's when I remembered that we were supposed to show the slide show at the rehearsal dinner. I'd left my laptop. projector, screen and speakers at home. Guess we'll be stopping back there on the way to the dinner. 

The rehearsal went off without a hitch and we had a good time meeting Clayton's family and greeting our own families. I had a chance to pull my son-in-law aside and give him a little fatherly reminder that, if his wife doesn't faithfully take her birth control pill at the same time every day SHE WILL GET PREGNANT. His first duty as a husband will be to help her remember this.

Rehearsal over. Back home to pick up laptop, projector, screen, speaker, requisite chords, and serving knives for the cheesecaked (Wendy remembered she'd forgotten those, too). Back in the car. Dangit! Forgot the hearing-aid battery again. Back to the house for that. Back to the car. Off to the rehearsal dinner.

Clayton's parents had done a fantastic job organizing the rehearsal dinner. Before the dinner, Clayton's mom, Brenda, read a poem she wrote called "A Mother's Blessing". It was really sweet and she held it together until the last couple of stanzas. Clayton and Taylor got up and Clayton spent some time thanking everyone (no, seriously, he thanked EVERY-ONE) before we eventually got to eat [love ya, Clay!]. The parents all sat together at one table and chatted during the dinner, and we played the slide show which brought out the appropriate laughter and, I'm sure, a few tears.

After the rehearsal dinner, it was time for us to head to the reception hall to decorate. Taylor has planned these really creative table decorations of bird cages. At the bottom of the cages is a bed of moss on top of which there are candles. Now when I say "moss" I mean that Taylor bought a box of "Super Moss" (not sure how it compares to mild-mannered Clark Kent type moss, but I'll take the box's word for it).  Where she got it, I don't have a clue, but as we began to assemble the decorations it sort of became clear that moss is green fungus growing on DIRT. You don't get the Super Moss without the requisite Super Dirt. So, dirt was getting everywhere. On the floor and on the tables. (Soooooooo, guess who got to go back home to get some wax paper to line the bottom of the bird cages?)

The wax paper worked really well and a crude assembly line was created. We we able to get the room decorated as much as possible and headed home to get a good night's sleep (not before making a detailed to-do list for today so that we wouldn't forget anything!).

The house is stirring. Time to get ready. Today is my daughter's wedding day.

A Precious Gift

I come from a family of artists and craftsman. In one way or another, we're all have our own creative outlets. My dad took up working with stained glass many years ago. He's done some fantastic work. Yet, as the number of grandchildren multiplied like arrows in his quiver, stained glass took a back seat to other activities and priorities.

On Sunday night, my folks came down to have dinner with Taylor and Clayton. Mom and Dad wanted to make the journey to spend some time with the happy couple before the wedding, and to give the kids their wedding gift early. Wendy and I were a bit surprised when Taylor called to announce that the four of them were coming over. My folks requested that Taylor and Clayton open the gift in our presence.

So, they arrived and opened the package. Inside was a stained-glass piece that my father had created and framed by hand. It was awesome to see him back at it. The result was gorgeous.

It's the kind of thing money doesn't buy.